Website roasts
How do famous websites do on first impression? Every page below got a score, one savage line and the 3 fixes that would help it most. Sorted from best to worst.
datafa.st
“The “revenue-first” demo opens with an 87% bounce rate and 0.34% conversion, like a restaurant advertising its fire exit.”
77/100
stripe.com
“Stripe’s hero is a confetti cannon of gradients wrapped around a headline that sounds like finance put on a name badge reading infrastructure.”
76/100
notion.so
“Where teams and agents Think together sounds like a very expensive way to say we added AI, while the mobile cookie popup eats the pitch alive.”
74/100
supabase.com
“Build in a weekend, scale to millions is a whole startup pitch squeezed into a slogan, with the actual product explanation trailing behind like documentation.”
74/100
resend.com
“That cube is so dark it looks like your email deliverability got sent straight to the spam folder.”
73/100
cal.com
“Cal.com’s hero calls itself “the better way” while making the actual booking demo play calendar Tetris beside a paragraph that could describe half the internet.”
71/100
shipfa.st
“The hero sells a code starter with the urgency of a closing-time mattress sale and the explanation of a logo collage.”
70/100
excalidraw.com
“Excalidraw gives you a giant blank canvas, then opens with a browser-storage obituary instead of showing you what to draw.”
67/100
vercel.com
“The hero gives a giant triangle more screen time than it gives you reasons to deploy anything.”
64/100
github.com
“GitHub’s “future of building” takes 200 pixels to say nothing, then asks for your email and a Copilot download like a two-headed checkout.”
63/100
figma.com
“Figma’s hero makes “full-stack creative canvas” sound like a product, then lets a cookie popup do the actual explaining.”
58/100
posthog.com
“PostHog’s homepage turns a product pitch into a desktop scavenger hunt, then lets a cookie popup sit on the mobile CTA like it paid rent.”
57/100
linear.app
“The hero gives you a grand promise, a dimly lit software screenshot, and absolutely no button to make the next move.”
56/100
news.ycombinator.com
“Hacker News looks like a beige spreadsheet escaped a 1998 intranet and brought thirty headlines as its entire onboarding strategy.”
55/100
paulgraham.com
“The homepage pairs a ghosted name, button-bar navigation, and a traffic-light photo like the web’s oldest personal site found a time machine.”
49/100
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